About Me

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"too much stuff, too many places, too much information, too many people, too much of things for there to be too much of, there is too much to know and i don't know where to begin but i want to try."

Sunday, August 31, 2008

let's all eat together in the hall, watch singin' in the rain, and then afterward have a floorgy!

so i thought it might be nice to read a real post, and not that ambiguous poetic shit i wrote lol.

this week has been like a vacation for me.

i've done so many things i never thought i'd do... my past few days, for example:

on thursday, a few of us rode the subway [what!] and got high in central park... and then we came back and later got high in washington square park...

friday, i danced my ass off on a REAL dancefloor... with random people... and random dance moves... for hours! and i shared more about myself with my floormates than i have with most of the closest people to me. weinstein 9B just rolls that way!

saturday, i [we] rode the subway [again?!] to the met and central park, had falafel, and went to a hookah bar [strawberry, mango, peach, orange, mint] mmmmm

the remainder of my time has been spent wandering the streets of manhattan
all the while getting to know and bonding with the people on my floor [floorgies ftw!]

this week has been so liberating, and so inspiring. everyone here is outrageously talented and passionate. i sometimes feel "unworthy" of being here, but then i remember that the admissions people saw something in me, so that must mean something, right? lol. either way, these people make me want to seriously study art, dance, film, or theatre...

i wonder how things will change once classes start.
i hope i still love this place.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

there's really no way to describe it.

feeling completely lonely, yet completely energized
life races by and invites me, entices me
come this way
come this way
come this way and know me

growing up
never knowing
it could be this great
never knowing
fear and pain fuse so wonderfully
never knowing
that life was so much more

crowded streets, empty souls
violent stares, cold hearts
filled lungs

one more drink, she said,
one more puff.
one more friend she's found.
one more, one more
empty soul.

life is horrible, life is great.
it's all the same anyway, right?

one cacophonous roar,
one hell-driven mass.

come to me,
and feel my ice.

let me clench upon your body,
and never releash you.
but do not worry,
for though my grip can cripple your soul,
my talons are warm, soft to the touch.
and you will come back to me,
and over
and over again.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

let's do the time warp again!

billy collins is funny, in a cool poetic way.

the lecture was better than i thought it'd be, and i liked a lot more of his poems once he read them outloud. i didn't stay after to get my book signed, though *frown* there was a looong line, and like he said himself, meeting the author is usually a disappointment, because the best you'll ever see them at is on the page. anything else after that is a letdown.

after the lecture, our floor went over to the rocky horror picture show.

so awesome. sdfjawojie;fadjk;awofi is all i can say right now.

i feel bad about not taking any photos yet... nicole wants me to make a video, but that's not really my area hahaha. we'll see what happens... someone come visit me!! i miss everyone desperately lol.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

vodka, cranberry juice, and billy collins

so yesterday was A LOT better than sunday. i can't believe this is only my 3rd day in new york... i feel like i've been here for weeks already!

yesterday morning we were supposed to meet with our academic advisors to talk about the dreaded billy collins reading... but my advisor [patricio navio] isn't here, so we met with someone else. she didn't read the book, so we couldn't really discuss it. but i was glad to hear that, like me, most people didn't really enjoy the book. ugh but tonight we have to go to his lecture... which i guess it's cool to see and hear the person that actually wrote it all, but i didn't particularly like the book so it doesn't seem as great.

so after we got out of the discussion, i stopped by a market in the same building as weinstein and got a vegetarian sandwich and some naked juice.

in the afternoon was the presidential welcome and "reality show" at madison square garden... and some "special guest speaker".

we had our fingers crossed for obama hahaha... BUT we did get MICHAEL IAN BLACK!!!!!! that's right, ladies and gentlemen!!!! michael ian black from vh1's "I Love The..." show and other stuff is an NYU alum!! HE'S SO FUNNY!!!! in his speech he was like "when i first came to college, i was so HORNY!!! i was horny for LEARNING!!! ok, i was horny for sex too."

and then the reality show was amazing too. it was tisch students performing all these random, catchy songs about school info and health services... like dealing with roommates, sex, and suicide... it was so obsene and blunt, i loved it! there was a lot of use of "fuck" and "ass". MVA staff members would have cringed and blushed if they had watched! when they were talking about sex and stuff, they mimicked/reinacted common sex positions... it was so hilarious!! i REALLY wish MVA staff members could have been there...

after the show, my roommate and a girl on our hall named cassie walked back to the dorm...

last night was fun... we thought about going to one of the welcome week club parties, but we had heard it was lame... so we figured if we got drunk beforehand, it would seem decent. but in the end, we decided not to go anyway hahahaha so we [jay, cassie, some guys from rubin, and i] just wandered around the city smoking and sobering up. THEN like complete asses, the guys left us to try to get some! um, HELLO?! but whatever lol...

we came back to weinstein to see an interesting crowd on our stoop... lots of gays lol. this one from Columbia in orange skinny jeans came up and asked me where i had gotten my pants. i was wearing my new red skinnies... haha he like took down the name of the shop and shit lol. we met some more "fabulous" people before going inside and hanging out with some people on our floor...

ok this is a long ass post...
i have to go to the billy collins lecture in a little while, and then i'm not sure what i'm doing after that. our RA mentioned this latin dancing thing tonight, but i don't know if we'll get out of the lecture in time... but i suppose we could always look for the place.

but yes, new york is great and is quickly becoming my home =)

but FUCK i still need to get like 20 books for my classes. crazy, right?!

oh, and thanks for the love! you all make me happy =)

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'M HERE!!!!

yes, new york is my new home.

yesterday, move-in etc, seemed like the LONGEST day possible. my roommate [jay] and i both got here in the morning, so we spent the afternoon either lounging in our room talking about how gross it was or walking the streets of soho and the adjacent area.

more than once i got teary...
throughout the day i called nicole and ashley, and texted a few people... it's just weird being alone is such a large city.

i think i'm going to start doing what i did near the end of summer - just leave randomly and go venture by myself. i need to not be so afraid of being alone, and maybe then i can be more open to meeting people.

lol last night in our hall meeting, my ice breaker question was "what are you most nervous about?" and like a lame i said "meeting new people" haha some people laughed and someone said "i could help you with that!" so ya, i'll have to get on that...

orientation starts today... so hopefully that goes well =)

leave me lots of love! i'm in desperate need of it right now *frown*

Friday, August 22, 2008


the last few days i've been getting all emotional and shit... i keep thinking, "i'm not going to be back here until december" or "i won't see [so and so] again for [however many] months..." or the always popular, "i'm going to be in new york... alone."

so yeah.

i meant to take photos of the new leggings & shorts i got the other day... but no such luck. photography is completely leaving me *tear*
i'm hoping i get more inspiration in new york. GAH I LEAVE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

for kayla:

yelle's "ce jeu"

and i finally found the name of the orchestra song that's in that one old diamond commercial... from like 4 years ago lol. i haven't been searching since then, but i remembered it yesterday from a line in one of the poems in Sailing Alone... it's called "palladio" composed by karl jenkins. am i the only one who didn't know the name of it?! lol i'll feel stupid if i am...

i'm afraid i have to say goodbye to ohio today and tomorrow morning... i keep playing the beatles song in my head... "you say goodbye and i say hello"...

ok, i'll be honest.
i'm completely afraid.

haha prepare for my next post, probably me freaking out sunday afternoon once my parents are gone.

i'm just waiting for the excitement and anticipation to fully set in.

bye, loves.

follow me on twitter to stay posted! =)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

hello seattle

found this song today, and sort of fell in love:

obviously not the official music video, but i just love using youtube as my music player lol.

i've just been getting ready for school... i probably won't have too much to blog about until next week =)

notso-manic monday.

madre opened a checking account for me today... i realized the others i have are savings. oops.

no packing

purchases: fried okra, sailing alone around the room [other copy was from the library], s'more poptarts, pads, coffee, vanilla air freshener, pomegranate tea.

imogen heap is such a G:

and i like this song by yelle, but i found the lyrics in english... and realized that she's A FREAK NASTY!!! dirty whorish mouth... lol... but "ce jeu" isn't bad...

i SWEAR i'm going to start packing tomorrow!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

listening to buck live show

i woke up this morning thinking it was monday... and then i learned it was sunday, and my spirits lifted because i felt like i had gained a day.

so this is my current flickr profile:

sometimes i like to stay up until sunrise, just to experience that simple moment of peaceful bliss when i feel completely in tune with the world. i look out my window and know that there's someone out there that's suspended in this moment in the same way that i am. i have a tendency to not make sense, to not convey my thoughts and emotions clearly. i'm so fascinated by the world around me, but i always seem to struggle with actually connecting with it. i suppose i act more original than i actually am. miley cyrus really annoys me. i've made so many escapes for myself that it's hard to deal with reality. i overdramatize. i overanalyze. i love to dance and listen to music. "music is the only thing that makes sense anymore." art is just a reflection of the soul. i don't know why i just typed that, but i like it. i really like wendy's frosties. time seems to stand still at the most inopportune moment. my best days were spent staying up late and waking up early. "no rain" by blind melon describes my life so perfectly. i want to be a bum for life. really, i don't think i'm cut out for the work environment. people say i'm smart, but i don't see it. if nobody speaks of remarkable things changed my life. i'm about 5'2". i'm mixed with whatever you could imagine. at least that's how i like to think of it. as of 3 weeks ago, fried okra is my favorite food. what is "indie" anymore? what's your favorite drug? i resent my father for countless reasons. i secretly want to learn how to play the harp. i've developed a bad habit of eating between 11 pm and midnight. have you noticed that even the "complicated" love stories in movies are still 10 times simpler than real-life relationships? i sort of want a cat. i've gotten 4 scarves in the last two weeks. i hate when a memory i tried to hide in the back of my mind randomly pops back to the front, and i'm left thinking, "oh my god, i did that?!" i hate how it's hard for me to forget things. ok, i hate it AND love it. i'm really not good at photography. i ramble. i don't talk very much, at times. i don't know what i'm doing anymore.

^i'm thinking about changing it, so i figured i could post it here and not feel as guilty lol.

^thurs night in athens

i spent today in the house, watching movies and shit. i watched the grudge... it didn't seem that scary. it was weird, like the timeline and whatnot. i understood the plot i guess? but it was confusing... lol.

making progress on my summer reading... about halfway through!

so my mom bought me gas today, which is amazing =) although the only place i went today was the library... but tomorrow i think i'm going to get my poptarts! aahahaha

i'm craving a lot of stuff right now... fries, fried okra, panera's chai, steak n shake's hashbrowns...


Saturday, August 16, 2008

the 80s will always have my heart.

the highlight of my day so far has been watching Can't Buy Me Love - the 80s ORIGINGAL version of that recent movie starring nick canon... Love Don't Cost A Thing... i think that's the name. anyway, i liked Can't Buy Me Love a lot more... mmm patrick dempsey. i mean nick is alright and everything, but come on, he just married mariah carey... that must tell us something. so yeah, i recommend that everyone go watch Can't Buy Me Love, made in 87.

earlier they were showing ferris bueller... but i only caught the last 15 mins or so.

80s FTW!!!

so recently i've been craving poptarts... and not just any poptarts. i've been craving those chocolate and marshmallow-y ones. i'm guessing they're s'more or something. idk. but i want some... and i was about to go out really quick to get some but then i realized a few things: 1) barely any gas 2) barely any money to buy gas 3) hadn't showered yet 4) didn't feel like showering yet.

so as you can see, i decided it would be best just to stay in for right now. i've taken over the guest room... caitlin and i slept in here last night, and this morning i realized that i just wanted to spend all day in here. and that's what i'm doing...

i have my popcorn, my cell, a random chocolate cupcake, and a movie paused on youtube...

ya i'm just taking it easy, trying to rest up for my big date tonight with ryan gosling at 8 pm on abc family. oh, and rachel mcadams will be there too, i guess.

Friday, August 15, 2008

disoriented & distraught

does anyone even know what's going on in their lives anymore?

I've been feeling like I've been living in a Twilight Zone episode... what about you?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

i don't even know where to begin

the last two days have been craazy...

i haven't felt this good AND bad at the same time in a looooong time.

tomi and i are awesome. that's all i've got to say.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

i wanted

to make sure i posted on sunday, so that i could break the posting-every-2-days habit i had developed.

so yesterday was sort of depressing? idk. i spent the afternoon alone, just driving around and stopping at random places - like the dollar store and target. i stopped in half-priced books, solely to buy some random dvds to watch. i got stepford wives, drumline, and borat [watched them in that order]. i started watching them while eating a bean burrito and peanut butter chocolate chunk ice cream. haha i was in a crappy mood - i blame the heat lol.

after the movies, i watched matthew lush broadcast live. he's awesome, he broadcasts like every day and he stays on FOR HOURS AND HOURS!!!

matthewlush- Broadcast your self LIVE

tonight he was talking about how his band was trying to go on tour. i was like "come to ohio! lol" and he laughed and was like "come to ohio??!" you guys should go vote for his band Starlight Starbright to come to columbus... VOTE VOTE VOTE! aaahahaha or go listen to their song or buy it on iTunes! =)

kk today i spent the afternoon with ms. nelson. we ate at panera then i showed her around "uptown" westerville [i seem to be giving a lot of tours lately] I BOUGHT A HANDMADE TIE BAG FROM THE NEW VINTAGE STORE!!!! yayayay it's awesome. oh and i guess i should mention that that store also sells local, handmade stuff... just in case you were wondering lol.

uuhhh hair appointment weds. still sort of undecided... just a trim? or something edgy and drastic? idk.

my room is complete chaos. and i need to start getting my stuff together. 13 days! omgiknowimgoingtobeextremelystressednextweek.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

"i fly like paper, get high like planes"

why doesn't anyone ever comment on my best posts?! haha for real, check out my last one... matthew lush dancing in his underwear totally makes me want to screw his skinny little vegan ass.

um so yesterday was fun. saw pineapple express with tomi... then we picked tolu up. we stopped at subway, knight's ice cream, AND bob evans. yeeaaaaaah! then we followed this random guy in their neighborhood that was running IN JEANS AND A LONG-SLEEVE SHIRT!! WTF?! he was drenched in sweat, it was so gross. lol

i have exactly 2 weeks until i leave for nyu! crazy, right?! i have so much stuff to do before then! [aka packing and summer reading]

oh, and am i the only person who's not excited about the olympics?

frick, i'm hungry.

and i love them:

Thursday, August 7, 2008

so i'm really tired

and i've been sitting here for the past hour or so wondering why i feel so tired. i've realized it's because 1) i've been running on less than 5 hours of sleep per night for the last few days and 2) i havent had coffee [or any caffeine!] since tuesday.

oh wait, scratch that: i had tea last night...


soooo i have found the PERFECT guy for me!! he's cute, funny, and cares about the world! only problem is, he's gay. aaaahaha. meet matthew lush, my new favorite youtuber:

HAHAHAHA i swear he isn't always in his underwear!!
ok maybe he is... here's another vid:

i chose this one because he just looks so goshdarncute. you should def check out his others... i faved the one about mcdonalds.

OH! and he's on blogtv! he's actually broadcasting live right now =) http://www.blogtv.com/people/matthewlush

gah he makes me want to reconsider going vegan. oh and he's only 20 =)

kk continuing... mostly just been running errands lately... pretty uneventful. i was so indecisive today; i drove around trying to figure out where i wanted to get my coffee, but i kept changing my mind once i was in the parking lot *tear* but i made brownies a few hours ago... and we have tea... so ya... i have to go because i'm about to fall asleep.

but ya, check out matthew lush... he's GayGod on youtube [ya, don't like the SN so much, but whatever]

seeing pineapple express tomorrow, don't know what else i'm doing this weekend!

today was my last real day of work... and i spent half the time on flickr talking to this girl michelle lol.

so i'm getting my hair cut next week!! i want something really edgy and sort of weird, so tell me if you have any ideas! photos would be nice too =)

k well, i'm off... OMG I JUST REALIZED WHY I'M SO TIRED!!!!

i took two tylenol PMs.

wtf, i thought it was regular tylenol :/

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

gridiron gang & clerks 2

after work, i stopped by java central and got a blended coffee and a muffin. still no one was there! ARE YOU STUPID, WESTERVILLE?!?!

i went to tomi's house tonight to watch movies... as you can guess from the title, we watched gridiron gang and clerks 2. the former was better than i thought it'd be, but depressing as hell lol. the latter was even funnier tonight than the first time i'd seen it. my favorite part:

i can't believe i leave for NY in 2 1/2 weeks!!!

Monday, August 4, 2008


omg... i feel like shit. i do NOT recommend staying up until 3-something smoking, eating fries, and drinking sunny d. i woke up with THE driest throat and a weird-feeling stomach... haha.

alright, so saturday i met nicole in lancaster and then we drove to tricia's 21st birthday party. first of all, we got lost and drove WAY out of our way, wasting gas. gosh. second, there were literally like five people there, all of which i don't really talk to. the attendees included the following: greg chardon, amanda mecozzi, nathan shinn, and karie mcgill. it was awkward, so we left after the boat ride.

next we were on our way home when we saw magic mountain... so we decided to stop to play DDR. but it was crowded, and we were waiting forever for this intense-DDR guy to stop playing. we ended up playing other games while this annoying little black kid kept asking us to give him our tickets. "i'll be a good boy!" lmao. we got BUBBLES!! with our tickets. haha we only had 54 combined, and bubles were 50 tickets, so we were just going to get one bottle. but the guy didn't even count them.... he just grabbed them and was like "you want one bottle each?" and we were like "ya..." hahahaha.

then i took nicole to "uptown" westerville, which i call downtown but whatever. because westerville is lame, almost EVERYTHING was closed. except graeter's, of course. so we stopped in there and got "peach boulevard sodas". so sweet. we wandered around town until finally heading home. at home we watched movies...

yesterday [sunday] i had to go to church with my parents. ACK. whatever. then nicole and i went "uptown"... we went in to Java Central, A NEW COFFEE SHOP!! it's HUGE!! there's like rooms with couches and bookshelves. it's bomb... but it was empty! we were like "why is no one here?!" lol. it's also a shop, so they had random scarves, jewelry, and little trinkets everywhere. after we got our double mocha java blended coffees, we went to the new vintage place. definitely falling in love. then i showed her Heavenly Cup. we decided that if we combined with Heavenly's atmosphere with Java's floor space, we would get athens' Donkey. hahahahahahaha.

so we drove back to lancaster and met her parents at the mall... looked around and nicole got a new cell phone. and then i came home! i got chipotle and watched the Buck live show...


Saturday, August 2, 2008

how to be emo

haha no comments on my actual birthday post?!

yesterday was pleasant, i suppose.

i never have conventional birthdays. no cake, party, or presents. ok so i HAVE had that type of birthday... but i was like 8.

hung out with tomi... saw Horton Hears a Who at the dollar theatre. that was my best-spent dollar ever [along with chapstick]! so cute and funny.

it was so f'ing hot yesterday, we nearly died. we went downtown westerville and stopped by Heavenly Cup. mmhmm APB smoothie. though it was more of a slushie, but whatever. looked around in stores... OMG THERE IS A NEW VINTAGE STORE!!!!! ITS SO AWESOME!!!! 50s, 60s, 70s retro. it's amazing... i almost got a floor-length black and white psychedelic dress, but i'm stingy so lol. but i think i'm going to stop by there again today or tomorrow...

today/tomorrow nicole and i are hanging out. you know, living the thug life!

my room is such a mess, i feel bad for the people that come over [aka tomi and a select few... and soon, nicole]

late last night until about half an hour ago, i was in a shitty mood. but i'm better now!

buck has opened my eyes to the world of youtube personalities:

my fav part is the "same facial expressions" hahahahaha dancing with friends... bend and snap

oh! and kudos to bri for sending me a bday card! and to tomi for giving me the coolest present ever! a recyle tee, a scarf that goes with EVERYTHING, a b&n gift card, and chapstick!! you guys rock

ok i have to go get ready for the day now. adios, amores!

Friday, August 1, 2008

feliz cumpleanos A MI!!!!!

ya, bitches.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! 18!!!!

gosh i'm getting old.

i thought of this song:

except i'm not going to cry today... because this is third best day ever [getting into NYU and getting my license are the top two!] !!!!

THANKS to anyone reading this who has already wished me happy bday!!! YOU'RE AWESOME! WE'RE GONNA BE FRIENDS FOREVER!!!!!!

hahahaha =) bye, lovins!