NEW PLAN

MOVE TO CHICAGO.
i'll work out the details eventually.

maybe, maybe.

maybe, maybe i should learn to be happy here.
i'm so confused.
i have a loud voice in my head saying to me, "GO BACK TO NEW YORK."
and then there's another voice saying, "STAY HERE AND WORK OUT THE MESS YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO."
everywhere i feel so limited; and everywhere i feel so much potential, so much hope.
i just don't know.
i know it's my life, and i need to decide what i want to do with it. but i can't seem to decide, and i don't know when i will ever be able to. and that scares me so much.

"my mom came to me for a piece of gum. when she saw my pack of trident she said, 'i thought that was the brand you didn't like.' and i said, 'no. trident's my favorite.'
at that moment i honestly thought my heart could break into a million pieces."

awkward, a human race. you'll see

you'll see it in the way i speak and
don't speak,
you'll see it in the way i look at you and
the way i look away,
you'll see it in the way i walk and sit,
the way i cry, the way i sing, the way i sleep.
you'll see
the sadness
discomfort
injustice
you'll see it all.
you'll see the murmurs,
you'll see the vibrations,
you'll see the sway and motion of things,
you'll see it all,
and you won't say anything.
you won't do anything.

letter[s]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ajlattimore/4264041108/

WUD UP 2010?

it's a new year, i'm glad to be here
it's a fresh spring, so let's sing
in 2080 i'll surely be dead
so don't look ahead
never look ahead