yes, that's what i've been experiencing lately.
yesterday and the day before i was seriously seriously considering dropping out. you have no idea...i've been rationalizing it in my head, and thinking of what i would do instead. roam, peace corps, etc. i love new york, but i don't love school. it would make sense for me to go somewhere else, like OSU, where my parents wouldn't be paying A LOT of money for me to just fuck around and have fun. here, i feel like i have to get into my studies, or else it's pointless for me to be at such a good school... but whatever, i'm still thinking about it. i started talking it over with my mom, and though she was trying to rationalize it as well, i'm pretty sure i'll at least be finishing my first year here. [i still want to shave my head though...]
i think part of the reason why i'm reconsidering is because i had another fun night last night haha. i really don't feel like posting all my shit on this blog, just because it'll probably seem like i'm trying to sound really cool and rebellious... lol i swear i'm not trying to
"i just have a lot of feelings" hahaha mean girls is funny... but really though, yesterday was good and bad. bad because i was all depressed about college and stuff, but good because my roomie rolled some big ass joints. floor time! what's good now is that instead of rolling with like 15-20 people, we've established a smaller, closer group of [unlame] people... anyway, so we walked around and ate massive amounts of food. insomnia cookies, falafel, yolato, candy... when we got back to the dorm, we had some skyy & pink lemonade. sometime during the night, 7 or 8 of us were on one twin bed... but in the end, it ended up being 3 people in each bed [patrick & angel's room]. i slept with heber and angel. talk about warmth. i woke up at 6 and realized that everyone else had gone to their rooms, so i decided to leave... it would have been awkward for them to wake up, and i'm the only one left, you know? lol so i left and came back to my room. but kassandra was in my bed. i was going to go ahead and climb in with her, but there was a bunch of stuff on my bed. so i just grabbed a few articles of clothing for a pillow, and laid down on the floor. hahaha. kassandra left at like 8 or 9, so i finally got to sleep in my bed then.
somehow i woke up at noon...and almost immediately after i woke up, kassandra knocked on the door because a few people were going out to lunch. so i went. without showering. yes, i still haven't showered.
so today i have to create my own school. we have a group project in writing to create a university. there are 4 of us, so we decided that each of us would start a school [insert allusion to harry potter here]. i sort of think i got shafted because i have like the "generals"... you know, like arts & sciences. so it's harder to be creative with it. but whatever. so i have to do that sometime today before we go out tonight. you know, since it's actually the weekend now.
so i'm going to go sleep now and procrastinate as much as possible.
leave me advice/suggestions about my leaving-college situation, por favor.