hey guys

wus happ'nin?

hahahahahaha OMG! so i love this song [molten light] by chad vangaalen [on his album "soft airplanes" that i got at the street book fair], but i just watched the video for it and it's WEIRD AS HELL!!! isn't this CREEPY?!:

but it's pretty freakin sweet that he did all the animation himself.

as of right now, life is good =)

i can't think of a good title.

ugh. so tired of everything.

it was nice seeing my family, but almost too distracting.

today i accidentally got eggs with salmon. ack. AND the lady was rude. laejkfaowiajsle.

an essay due tomorrow, and i haven't started. i'm meeting with some people in an hour to talk about it... fortunately?

whatever.

my celebrity sightings thus far. oh, and greetings from DC!

kudos to caitlin for being a badass mofo aka leaving me the third comment =)

come to new york, everyone, and i'll take you to an amazing falafel place!!! and it's only $2.50!!! something that good is so rare in the city! SO COME!!

since i am sitting here in maryland, on my cousin's computer that is in a much better state than mine, i'm going to attempt to post what i've been trying to post for the last few days:


^ricky from project runway season 4


^peter dinklage (in Elf, Entourage, and loads of other stuff)


^rachel dratch from SNL (she's hella funny!)

james franco has been around (doing grad at tisch) but i haven't actually seen him, so i figured it wouldn't be right to post a photo. but i WILL see him eventually. and a guy from gossip girl who's in one of my friend's classes (don't ask me who it is, because i don't know. maybe i'll google/wikipedia that ish right now!)
edit: i just did. his name is connor paolo.

and yesterday [or the day before] my roommate saw whitney from the hills. talk about season spoiler! haha

SDLFKJAWEPOFAISJDL.

so now that i'm away from new york for a bit, i realize that i love nyu and everything else. it's like how high school was. i complained all the time while i was at mva, but then when i was away i realized that i really enjoyed it.

and i hope everyone's registered to vote! this is a huge election, groundbreaking, history in the making! i'm not going to tell you who to vote for, but...

blogger's still hatin'!

yuppp, still no special post for you guys *tear*

maybe it's just my computer? it's been acting funny anyway... well whatever.

it's only tuesday?! i want the week to be OVER!

and i want to NOT be sick. i don't really even know how i got this cold...
city germs?

the highlight of my day was probably eating free falafel [from the restaurateur club lol] with a guy named kristoffersen. i know, such a badass name!

might be going to D.C. this weekend... SHHH!! i'm surprising my parents... [they're going for a party, and my cousin thought this would be a good idea... etc.]

and i've decided i'm not posting again until i get more than 2 comments.
so logical, i know.
ha. but really, i'm tired of seeing "2".

i have a sore throat.

so i had a special post in mind,
but blogger is being a betch and i can't upload photos. waaah.

another day, another day.

oOo that makes me think of "another day" from RENT:


listen to it a few times, and it will grow on you...

dfjawofjsdlksdfwo.

i don't think routines suit me.

college =

the biggest cliché. possible.

i'm so over it.

just give me my degree now...

so, funny thing is...

i'm actually reconsidering the whole dropping-out thing. like, i'm thinking about actually staying in school. a few phone conversations go a long way. but still, we'll wait and see. for some reason, i had completely forgotten about study abroad... AND since i basically have to finish my degree anyway, new york or another country are my best options, right??

gosh i need to be more consistent lol.

i cut my hair yesterday! hahahahaha...

and i attempted to decorate my door today. not sure if it's too much. i'll post a photo sometime and see what you guys think.

i can't believe i've only been here a month [as of this weekend] !!

there really is beauty in the breakdown...

i still want THESE. donations, anyone?

sooooo i'm leaving new york after this semester... we'll see what happens after that. but, according to my dad, i'll have to finish my degree somewhere.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!

cloud in the sky.

i want these boots.

i also want my parents' support,

but we'll see what happens.

i cried really hard today, because i finally realized that all my life i've just wanted my dad's approval. and as i was emailing him, i was worried that this may be the breaking point. leaving college is the one thing i want him to really understand about me, but it's scary as hell waiting for his answer.

i heard this song the other day in a store, and i thought back to the good ole days...

in case anyone was wondering

elijah wood did NOT, in fact, come to weinstein last night. no, instead a guy that goes to NYU named "elijah wood" showed up. lames.

so i'm getting to know more people, which is good i guess. like i'm really starting to like the girls that were in my university project group. last night, we only talked about the project a little bit, and then spent the rest of the time just talking about random stuff and getting to know each other.

sometime soon i need to do laundry and go over to bobst to watch some middle eastern film.

this is really funny [thank you, gen - or whoever on 9b found these]:

make it better, do it faster...

i need to get out of this place. ASAP.

yesterday = decent.

ate lunch with alex. omg, if you knew him... imagine a gay ken doll. that's what alex looks like. except alex claims to be straight. but we're all confused... anyway, so he was talking about one of our floormates [heber] who also seems gay. BUT we know that heber is straight because he likes girls very much. he's just dramatic, because, well, he's in theatre. anyway, so i was amused and had to keep from laughing when alex was talking about how heber should admit that he's gay and other stuff... anyway.

went out to mexican. so stupid. i still had like 5 meals for the week, but no i decide to spend $12 on a quesadilla and some rice & beans. damn peer pressure.

when we got back to the dorm, i spent 3 of my remaining meals on water and waffle fries. haha.

jay rolled some and we [jay, kassandra, patrick and i] went for a walk...

when we got back i spent another meal on vegetarian chili. we just chilled in the hall talking for a while, while the rest of the floor was drinking tequila and being all exclusive lol... in the end, we joined them once all the alcohol was gone and just hung out. we started watching this random indian movie called Dus. soooo confusing lol.

anyway, like i said before, i want to leave here. you know those times when you just don't feel like you belong somewhere? like, i haven't clicked with anyone here yet. i don't have that "connection" i've had with people back home... i just know that this isn't the place for me.

oh, and supposedly, elijah wood will be in our dorm tonight for the open mic... i'm a little doubtful, but i'm going to check it out just in case it IS really him lol.

this helps me not feel like shit all the time:


yay for daft punk and the person who made this vid.

i'm so hungry!

thanks for the comments, everyone! traveling through europe or south america sounds amaaaaazing right now. especially writing a book based on my experiences and becoming a famous author. thug life!!

so i basically slept ALL afternoon yesterday. for dinner, a bunch of us went to koreatown. i got tofu stew... it was so good. until i realized that there WAS meat [specifically, gross animals that live in the sea] in it. stupid, alia, of course there would be meat in it. but whatever, it was still tasty.

we hung out for a while before cracking open the tequila... etc etc.

but guess who called me at like 1:30?!

devin ward!

RANDOM!!! i hadn't talked to him in like 2 months.

anyway, went to bed at 2, woke up at 8 to do homework for the university project i mentioned in my last post.

and now... i may actually do more homework! wtf. fun, i know.
i need to get food first...

whirlwind of emotions

yes, that's what i've been experiencing lately.

yesterday and the day before i was seriously seriously considering dropping out. you have no idea...i've been rationalizing it in my head, and thinking of what i would do instead. roam, peace corps, etc. i love new york, but i don't love school. it would make sense for me to go somewhere else, like OSU, where my parents wouldn't be paying A LOT of money for me to just fuck around and have fun. here, i feel like i have to get into my studies, or else it's pointless for me to be at such a good school... but whatever, i'm still thinking about it. i started talking it over with my mom, and though she was trying to rationalize it as well, i'm pretty sure i'll at least be finishing my first year here. [i still want to shave my head though...]

i think part of the reason why i'm reconsidering is because i had another fun night last night haha. i really don't feel like posting all my shit on this blog, just because it'll probably seem like i'm trying to sound really cool and rebellious... lol i swear i'm not trying to

"i just have a lot of feelings" hahaha mean girls is funny... but really though, yesterday was good and bad. bad because i was all depressed about college and stuff, but good because my roomie rolled some big ass joints. floor time! what's good now is that instead of rolling with like 15-20 people, we've established a smaller, closer group of [unlame] people... anyway, so we walked around and ate massive amounts of food. insomnia cookies, falafel, yolato, candy... when we got back to the dorm, we had some skyy & pink lemonade. sometime during the night, 7 or 8 of us were on one twin bed... but in the end, it ended up being 3 people in each bed [patrick & angel's room]. i slept with heber and angel. talk about warmth. i woke up at 6 and realized that everyone else had gone to their rooms, so i decided to leave... it would have been awkward for them to wake up, and i'm the only one left, you know? lol so i left and came back to my room. but kassandra was in my bed. i was going to go ahead and climb in with her, but there was a bunch of stuff on my bed. so i just grabbed a few articles of clothing for a pillow, and laid down on the floor. hahaha. kassandra left at like 8 or 9, so i finally got to sleep in my bed then.

somehow i woke up at noon...and almost immediately after i woke up, kassandra knocked on the door because a few people were going out to lunch. so i went. without showering. yes, i still haven't showered.

so today i have to create my own school. we have a group project in writing to create a university. there are 4 of us, so we decided that each of us would start a school [insert allusion to harry potter here]. i sort of think i got shafted because i have like the "generals"... you know, like arts & sciences. so it's harder to be creative with it. but whatever. so i have to do that sometime today before we go out tonight. you know, since it's actually the weekend now.

so i'm going to go sleep now and procrastinate as much as possible.

leave me advice/suggestions about my leaving-college situation, por favor.

the banking concept of education & problem-posing. i like you, freire.

it's been hard for me to post the last few days... it's difficult to try to convince yourself that other people actually want to read your narcissistic, bullshit ramblings, you know? especially if you get only 2 comments [on average], sometimes from the same person...

so in case you're reading this, and you do care about what goes on in my life:

i'm almost sort of starting to adjust to the idea of being in school again. almost. sort of. starting to.

smoking is becoming a habit, which i suppose isn't very good.
but we all die sometime, right?
ha.

i found about them a while ago, but Crystal Castles ftw:

oh, and for the record, the shins are also great for high times.

so, whatever.

the mood swings never fail.

now, i'm just like "whatever" about the whole friend situation... i bitch and moan too much...

so yesterday i was really wanting one of the nyu care package things that are filled with yummy, heart attack-causing foods.

AND BAM!

today i received one!! i'm too geeked to be a fatty.

and thanks to my roommate, i've heard more than just "paper planes" by M.I.A.

she's pretty awesome

i must have spoken too soon.

today's a crappy day.

that's basically all there is to say.

that, and

"i have no friends here."


and now i'm even more irritated because i just realized that the first two lines rhyme.

friday,

a magical day filled with

barnes & noble
the brooklyn bridge
pizza
a lame frat party
whiskey, apple & cranberry juice, lemonade
rain
night crawling
night crawling... in the rain...
drunken speed walking and spills on the pavement
sleeping at 3, waking at 8

fuckilovethiscity.

get me a chicken sandwich!

youtube: one of the many things my floor [reppin' 9B!] does, and enjoys, as a unit.


^there's another one of these that is HILARIOUS, but i think it's private...



i just watched these again alone, and it just wasn't the same.

3 days and i'm already ready to be done with college.

GET ME OUT OF HERE!!

so i've spent the last week having the time of my life, enjoying the city and everything it has to offer.

and then it hit me last night:

i'm here to go to school.

this morning in class i felt so uninterested, in a way. sure, the topics we'll be discussing are interesting, but i know that i'll never commit myself to the work as much as i should.

maybe i'm just really moody because i'm stressed, sleep deprived, and dehydrated. i don't know.

all i know is that i'm feeling extremely homesick. ohiosick, really. i just don't feel like this is where i'm supposed to be anymore... i don't know what i'm doing here. wasting money, i guess?

i suppose it IS just my first day of classes, but i don't know.

i'm getting a weird feeling that i've never gotten before. i feel like it's almost worse than last week when my parents left me... or maybe i HAVE had this feeling before, but it was so utterly terrible that i erased it from memory. oh gosh.

i'm going to go listen to "nantes" on repeat...