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"too much stuff, too many places, too much information, too many people, too much of things for there to be too much of, there is too much to know and i don't know where to begin but i want to try."

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

nostalgia, panera, cafe triste & other childhood longings

so sunday i went to my dad's church, my old church, for the first time in at least five or six years?
believe me, i wouldn't have gone if i didn't have a good reason. it was Graduates Day.
so as we pulled into the parking lot, and opened the front door of the church, i tried to collect myself, prepare myself for what was ahead of me. it might sound like i'm over-dramatizing this, but i'm really not. as i walked through the church, all these memories and emotions flooded through me. i had grown up in this church; it had been my home. i thought of how i walked away from all of this, from all the people. as people hugged me and said "i'm so glad to see you! it's been so long!" i couldn't help but feel as if i deserted everyone. in a way, i did. standing in the back, waiting for the service to start, i had the urge to cry. i looked around at everyone, and so much had changed. i had missed so much.
as i sat through the service, i found myself wishing that there weren't barriers between me and them. different beliefs, different lifestyles... yet at a time, i had been so happy. sitting in that sanctuary, i felt alright. i would even say that i enjoyed it more than most Adventist services. and then i thought, of course i would like this, i grew up here. these people were my family.
after church was over, more people greeted me. a few old friends came and said hi. i was sad to realize that i had forgotten most of their names. everyone, in fact, was just a familiar face.
i hadn't eaten breakfast, so i was super hungry. my mom and i stopped at a place near the church... i got fried okra. how Black. lol.
my afternoon was spent driving around to different places... the library, big lots, chipotle.

yesterday [monday] i was woken up by a call from jess. for future reference, 11:45 is too early to call! haha i'm such a bum. anyway, luckily she woke me up and later came and got me to venture to easton. soogie and her brother met us there... new dress from forever 21:


ya i don't like the photo... but i love the dress!

so i came home tired after a few good hours of walking. and the blazing heat! but whatever. another book came para mi. A Clockwork Orange. looking forward to reading that.

i spent the rest of my night waiting for the end of Casanova to load. it was sooo worth it though lol.

sometime in the 11th hour [hehe] i started to feel a pang of hunger. of course, it's almost midnight so i really didn't need to eat. i could have easily just gone to bed.
but no.
so at exactly midnight, i found myself waiting for the pasta to finish cooking. yes, i made spaghetti and watched Will & Grace while the rest of the house slept. when 1 arrived, i figured i should leave the kitchen before i ate more and gave myself a serious stomachache.

sooooooooo... i just woke up not too long ago, and i actually sort of have an agenda for today. sort of. it consists of laundry and thank-you notes.

i rented juno last week... and watched every inch of the dvd, including special features. here's a deleted scene that made my MONTH! nicole conn, this is for you:

2 comments:

Briana said...

hahaa.. orange tic tac! i love that movie, i need to buy it when i get a decent.. aka REAL job.
CUTE dress btw! I love that color.. i just got a shirt almost that color.. but yeah.. awesome dres.. very 'alia' lol

Jessica said...

I want that dress! it's so cute!

you're just like me. I always feel like I'm starving at midnight lol.