About Me

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"too much stuff, too many places, too much information, too many people, too much of things for there to be too much of, there is too much to know and i don't know where to begin but i want to try."

Sunday, May 16, 2010

or maybe not.

we were at a wedding reception and it made me believe in love again
it was like a movie, the bride was beautiful
and in reality she wasn't the most beautiful person in the room, but in everyone's rose-covered eyes she was
her dress had beads and sequins and whatever else gowns have and i was afraid my necklace would catch and snag in it all
but it didn't
we sat at a table and i awkwardly answered questions, thought of better answers just moments later, but too late to bring up
i began considering law school
we were in the middle row of the room, and i realized
it's always good to sit in the middle, you'll always be in the middle of the food line
if you sit at one end, it could be good because you could be called first
but you could also be called last and have to watch all the other greedy hungry little bitches
so sit in the middle
unless you like to take risks, you like adventure and the thrill of not knowing if you'll come out on top
it must have been a wedding playlist from someone's ipod, the newlyweds stood in the space to take their first dance and some song started playing,
but it wasn't the right one
so whoever was operating it played the next one, wasn't it either, this continued, snippets of songs i knew, some i didn't but felt i should, i heard single ladies and i thought it was a strange song for a wedding playlist, but the right song was eventually found
the bouquet toss came and single ladies was able to play in its entirety
that makes sense, i thought
later i realized i ate too much, said too little, wasn't charming enough
i was called sophisticated and beautiful, though
and i got to tell people i was going back to nyu and watch the faces light up with wonder, or stretch a bit in surprise or envy
either way i was a spectacle again and it felt nice
like my big owl jangling against my neck and chest, it felt nice

ok ok i'm back to posting on here, if only to keep the creative juices in my brain flowing a bit.


juskaulani said...

Weddings do do that to you.

Geneviéve Cuva said...

(I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets those wierd deja vu things!)

I love how I can see it in my head, everything elegant & all that, and yet there are these stutters and breaks in the elegance, and... yeah.
Also, "i began considering law school" made me smile. =D