shiver

i hold the trigger in my hand, silver, shining, shiny nails ready to pierce, bang it's in, bang i'm - we are transported to that realm of castles, stone, rigid cold breaths walking the corridors, hold my hand i feel so alone, carry the gun my hand is so heavy, shaking shivering, flick, tweak, i see the silver down the hall, a speck, a mirror, is that me there, is that you, will you please grab my hand, grab it, don't let it fall to the ground, shatter, clang clank bang bank, a pang, i let it fall, the shivering starts, continues, pauses, strengthens, a stillness, deadness lights the corridor, engulfs like a black hole, the pieces glimmer and catch my breath, cough cough, grab my hand please, don't crush the silver, point the trigger please bang bang a shiver sigh

we discussed gothic literature in class today, but i also have a fascination with heroin. well, any drug. that desire, that urge is so interesting to me; and it's so similar to, if not the same as, other feelings we have towards other things and people.