crazy

so glad i'm not crazy.
i've been living these last few months, years thinking i was losing my mind, thinking that nothing was adding up, nothing was making sense
i've been doing these things, almost natural, routine for me,
genuine, sincere but
i was never sure how far my arms could reach, never sure how far they could reach
never sure how far they would.
these things were meant for others meant for me meant for that larger thing that no one can grasp or see but wants
they took shape, lost shape, fell into place anyway
oh these things.
and now they're reassuring me,
whispering genuinely and sincerely,
no no you're not crazy.
it wasn't for nothing.
don't worry.
they smile, i smile,
i'm so glad i'm not crazy.
i woke today with a hint of normalcy, a little peek into the dark spaces of life, i peered through the hole and saw amazing, spectacular images, images of
nothing.
these images were meant for no one meant for me meant for that larger thing that no one can grasp or see but wants
they fill space and take take take
these things take and give, fill and empty,
and for a while i was only sure of their
separate
incomplete
lonely
ness
their parts meant for parts meant for people who are meant for people.
oh these things.
connecting and confusing and carrying and guiding and gushing and
reassuring
they will tell me you them us her him that
we're not crazy.
say it again and again and again, please please.
and they'll do it.
they say,
you're not crazy,
this really is how things are,
it wasn't. he didn't. he did. she didn't. she did. it's ok. it's all right.
they smile, i smile, you smile,
i'm so glad we're not crazy.

defining "crazy" differently in this case, but i'm sure we've all thought of it this way. life [people, relationships, love] can be complicated, and it can be so simple.