i need a hug

i can't believe i haven't blogged since tuesday!

clearly, my life hasn't been too exciting. or maybe just the opposite! HA. yeah, right.

so my memory is getting terrible and i had to look at my last few days' tweets to figure what i had been doing...

on weds, devin called and we talked for like an hour. so that was fun. i wasted the rest of the day watching True Blood and doing idontknowwhat.

thursday after class i went walking around in search of a cheap mask for the masquerade party on friday. although i did find a nice one for $13, i wouldn't have bought it if i had known that i would wear it for about 10 minutes, take it off because i was hot, accidentally rip off one of the straps, set it down on a chair somewhere, watch numerous people wear it, and find that it had disappeared after a few hours. so yeah.

thursday night i called caitlin and we talked for a whiiiiile, which did wonders for my soul.

friday [in the afternoon] i chilled/wandered/freaked out about not being able to get cash out of the ATM. but it worked out eventually. i really need a job.

and then... the "lingerie masquerade." i don't really even know if i want to, or should, explain. i mean, it wasn't quite a masquerade because the few of us who did have masks only wore them for about 5 minutes [except gen, who wore his batman-esque mask all night]. and it wasn't quite a lingerie party because only some of us were wearing less clothing than normal... or some people, after a while, went and put more clothing on. it got even stranger when more non-floor people started showing up that WEREN'T wearing any sort of lingerie. it was awkward... and then the dancing stopped completely because the RAs said that it needed to be quieter [although it was still before quiet hours!]. and i think the fact that not everyone had pregamed beforehand made it awkward too. and i know i felt weird too because a few people were clearly hooking up, or desperately trying to, and i wasn't a part of it. i mean, it was just one of those times when you pause and think "this is really happening? this isn't a movie?" gosh i hate how cliche life is. and although i've been going outside my comfort zone, and going against my nature, to be more outgoing and hang out with more people... it's just not working. idk, maybe last night just wasn't a great night. it was just "one of those times"... so strange... i just felt more out of it, more out of place, than i should have.

and i suppose wearing contacts for the first time in about three years didn't help either.

whatever. i don't even want to think about what's going on tonight. sometimes i really hate the city... and society. it's so fucked up.

and i have two papers to write.

i'm really unhappy right now. i think i need a hug.