valentine's day

you know, i'm not sad.
i'm not feeling any lonelier today than usual
i don't feel pitiful for not having a valentine, a boyfriend, a lover
i feel perfectly fine,
because today is sunday and the sun is shining and i'm listening to beautiful music
and it's just another day.
i feel sad for those who are sad today
for those who use this day to feel terrible about themselves and their current relationship situation.
don't be sad.
don't look around and measure your love, the love you give and receive, to the love of the rest of the world.
don't look at that couple and long for the terrible relationship you left.
don't look in the mirror and question why someone's not standing behind you with his arms wrapped around you, his face snuggled into your neckhair whisperinginyourear.
don't eat the chocolates and wish instead that you were eating coal, dick, sadness, life.
don't, don't think about calling him or texting him or saying to him, hey how are you, i was thinking about you, when last week you didn't care about him or think about him.
don't watch that movie. you'll only feel worse. you are not meg ryan, he is not tom hanks. it won't work, and you're not going to have your happy ending.
don't forget about that cat, puppy, peak of sunlight, hot chocolate, song, afternoon, summer rain. those shoes, that dress, that photo you took in these things. that friend, you know the one, we all have one, that friend who puts a smile on your face, that friend who embarrasses you and annoys you and absolutely loves you and absolutely makes you happy with the world, the one who makes you look at the skymoonsunstarsgodwhatever and say, thank you for creating this being, this being is perfect and lovely and extraordinary. that art, that art you do every day, the writingdrawingdreamingpaintingworking, don't forget the way it makes you feel inside, deep deep inside, that lightning.
just don't forget.
because the love that can be displayed, dispensed, discarded in a day, well that's not love. it's not love, and you shouldn't be sad for it.
if it can be summed up in a day, i don't want it. the greatest wonders, treasures take daysyears to reveal themselves. the books, people, meaning in my life still surprise me, uncovering thisthat, i'll never know it all, i may never understand it all, the beauty in complexity.
so don't ever trust a card you bought for a dollar, or a bear sewn through someone's hard labor in thatonecountry, or candy-filled chemicals, or that guy who broke your heart but promises not to do it again, or commercials, those damn commercials. don't trust that couple, because they will break up.
please, for me,
just try to trust yourself,
trust your life,
trust thatbeing who will mold it into something beautiful
trust that beautylovehappinesswhatever will manifest itself
it will say, hello
i'll let you fill in the rest.
stop wasting your time on
don't forget to look at, to love
remember



this poem got way long, way out of hand, but i'm okay with that.