About Me

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"too much stuff, too many places, too much information, too many people, too much of things for there to be too much of, there is too much to know and i don't know where to begin but i want to try."

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

so i want to know:

what are YOU getting out of life?
and seriously, what is it that you're working towards? what brings you happiness? what is your life leading up to? are you there yet? close? why are you headed in that direction? do you actually love what you're doing? or do just want to want that? did someone tell you when you were young that you would be doing this? did anyone tell you that you have to do this? does your life have any passion? what do you feel? do you feel alone? do you feel lost, confused...? or does it all make sense? do you feel like you're growing up? do you think you're figuring everything out? do you still have the same dreams as when you were 10? 13? 16? 18? what has changed? why? were you happier then? are you happy now? things change, but why do some consistently stay the same? why do the stages in our life clash so violently? do you feel the clash? why do parents protect their children from a thing they have no control over? were you protected? are you glad you were? are you glad you weren't? when will people stop trying to act like they know what's going on in the world? does anyone know? do you know?

this started as something else, and evolved into that. completely different, yet a summary of the thoughts floating in this strange head of mine. 3:18am and none the simpler.


Geneviéve Cuva said...

I think I understand your exasperation with words. May 2008, "Known"; Jan 2008, "Words"; Nov 2007, "Communicate".

And now I shall try to address your questions :D

I have no idea what I'm working towards or what my goal in life is. I'm just chilling on my tube on the river of life. I want to do something with art or writing, but I don't want to end up like my parents, who had a dream and are now living a mediocre life. I have a passion for love and trying to express things, which usually just exasperates the people who feel as if I should be doing something useful with my life. Mostly I feel confused, sometimes stressed, and nearly always phlegmatic. I was born middle age, and I don't want to let go of the childish things that I've kept in my personality. I don't want to grow up. I've never figured anything out, and I think Solomon was the closest anyone really got. I've always had weird dreams, but I had more nightmares when I was a kid. I don't remember being unhappy, but I don't remember much at all, so the whole thing is a little iffy. I don't feel a clash so much as an insistent pull or pound, like waves on the beach of cliffs. My parents thought they were protecting me, but I ended up protecting myself a little bit, somewhere along the way. I generally try to ignore the world. If I'm not connected in some manner to the world's plans, I tend to stick to the "ignorance is bliss" policy, which never worked out well for anyone, but there's a first for everything.

I used to think a lot, until I discovered that asking certain questions made me feel morose. I did not like feeling morose, so I asked different questions. Now I'm just confused, and slightly less morose.

Soogie said...

that's a lot of questions, and im pretty uncapable of keeping track..


i would like to say

no i am not happy most of the times, but the short moments of happiness are well worth the wait...

my dreams have evolved, mostly because i've found more things that i DONT like, rather than things i DO like. im hoping that'll change..

however, the dream that i DO have, is pretty fricken amazing.. at least, i think so.. and the best part is that i actually have a plan for once..

Geneviéve Cuva said...

I shall check it out of the library post haste.

And I've learned that questions about food usually end quite well. For instance, "Curry or spaghetti?" Difficult, but a win-win situation.

Briana said...

so many questionsss lol.. yeah Imma get back to you when I am not so tired... but I WILL answer it cuz i mean, I just got from Africa and had all these epiphanies there and so on and so forth. but yeah I will get back to you when I am less exhausted