is it just me, or do friends suck?

i know, i know. i swore off ranting online a few months ago, confining all the soul-bearing to my actual journal as opposed to this artificial world we've created on the internet. but alas, my recent musings have left me perplexed and i don't think i can search within myself anymore or else i'll become even more insane than i already am. SO. call me cynical, pessimistic, jaded, whatever, but i'm getting so tired of everyone and everything. i mean, i'm sure it's mostly me, but i'm feeling like it's so hard to connect with people. coming back home, i think i had a lot of expectations of how things will be. of course, i'm always disappointed because i fantasize [being] in a strangely idealistic world. a world where i hang out with friends, live simply, and slowly ruin my life by choosing passion over reason in almost every situation. growing up is hard in movies and television, supposedly a mirror of real life, but growing up in real life seems infinitely more difficult to me because the options present in movies and tv just aren't quite here. i don't know if that makes sense, but i guess i just keep realizing that we ARE all growing up, and life can't be as simple as i want it to be. but anyway, back to friends. i'm also realizing that some of the friends i have/had aren't people i really want in my life. i'm not trying to sound melodramatic. it's just that i think i dealt with people in high school and other places because they were all i knew. i mean, i was pretty sheltered. it was like people became my friends by default. i'm not trying to hate or anything, but i feel like we should get past this "oh yeah, we're friends because we've been friends for so long..." thing without any real basis. i'm definitely not talking about all of my friends. just the ones that happen to appear occasionally and act like we have a real friendship when we don't. and i think i've changed to the point where i don't want to associate with certain people. maybe that's harsh, i don't know, but i'm tired of the wholesome, preaching drones. i don't want to try to talk to someone, knowing they won't understand what i'm saying because they can't grasp any other ideas than what they've been taught growing up. and even religion aside, some personalities are beginning to clash with my own and i don't see how i dealt with it before. maybe i've changed too much. maybe i'm just really fucking fed up with my friends AND myself that i'm just fishing for all the worst things i can say. maybe i don't understand why i'm finally "home", yet i feel completely alone, stranded within the limits of myself. WITHIN THE LIMITS OF MYSELF. i think that's what it all comes down to. i complain and try to blame others, but i'm just unhappy with where i am. for some reason, i'm not able to change my position, and decide that everyone else must change theirs. strange. even though i'm not done ranting, i'm going to stop here because this is getting ridiculous. so yes, it's me. but yes, friends do also suck. this is all ridiculous, and i'm sorry if you read it all. but hey, you didn't have to... so i suppose i don't really need to apologize. buuut this shall be continued another time.
[i think what i mean to say is that i've found myself hating practically everyone i know. but i'm not entirely sure if that's what i mean to say...]