mock sleep, mock exercise, a few
flimsy stretches, shower and stefan at easton
sunlight to make amends for my cloudy eyes,
for the haze of smoke and regret and dark
displacement, my empty self
a cup too full of coffee, my stomach wants nothing
my head, pounding - not actually pounding, but i
feel the familiar ache
like every other familiar ache
silent sculpting and an opportunity for solidity
solidarity but i throw my invisible hands
up and wait for the inevitable power tsunami,
for the orange cup to empty itself
strings of hair and broken nerves
barb said my brain is broken - the fuck
i feel sick, my physical body finally catching
up to my in-repair workshop, my self-disintegrating
system
i decide to not take a pill and my world crumbles
insides knotted, guts in the back of my imagination
a short story and a short existence
he steadily working to create, me steadily working
against all creation, all self, all time
About Me
- alia
- "too much stuff, too many places, too much information, too many people, too much of things for there to be too much of, there is too much to know and i don't know where to begin but i want to try."
2 comments:
I don't know if I mentioned the mission trip before, but we went & helped out at a run-down community center in Phoenix. It was so intense! And no worries, I'm super behind too since everything except 'new post' is blocked. I'm borrowing someone's laptop now.
ANYWHO.
I am FINALLY sending my reply letter tomorrow. From before Christmas... My forgetfulness is astounding, but hopefully the letter will brighten your day a bit.
(I've heard Guts is super intense, I'm a little afraid to read it but so curious!)
"like every other familiar ache" = so true.
did i ever tell you that i love you?
i've found the perfect solution to my diet...
drink enough to not feel hunger...
and i'm trying my bestest to follow your suggestion!!
it's. fucking. working.
**word verification of the day: boogie
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