"jamaican me happy"

jamaican me happy
the bottle read
followed by my invisible nod and glance in your direction
happy,
a new dress
an empty notebook waiting to be filled with occasional brilliance
deep stares, revealing desire
i feel sexiest in an old shirt that once belonged to my mother
enormous, unflattering, but slightly sheer enough
so you can see my leopard print bra
a radiant sunset
my limbs twisted with yours
the day waiting to be spent
i linger in these moments, content
i want nothing more of the world than a cup of tea, a warm blanket, a sleeping lover
playing our favorite game
domestication
as a kid i called it house
i could have never imagined i'd be here
with you
with this life
trying to sew and bake things and make things tidy
being content at 22 to retire and settle down
make plans with someone
depend on someone
but it all makes me feel
the changing seasons
temperatures rising and falling as often as my mood
but when on the rise,
i see the world clearly
peek at my jewelry
take a pill every now and then
sleep through the night
and wake up to find i'm not alone

soundly by your side

swimming in black sheets silky as your thin hair
i caress them, wanting forever in every molecule
wearing your underwear because you said they look cute on me
i watch you fall sleep and contentment overwhelms me
you're mine
growing old with you while we're still young
spending sunday afternoon cleaning and scrubbing, the music radiating through the apartment
quiet friday nights on the couch, glasses of ovaltine
thoughts of our future together swarm my mind
fill it with a warmth i never thought possible...
talk of paint choices and pets and making space for my stuff, making plans
soon things will be ours
and we'll cradle them,
protect the essence of simple life
present in every soft embrace, every airy kiss,
in all the car rides, and even in our silent moments
it pervades the touchiest of subjects, the wonderful coincidences, the tragic accidents, erases every false emotion
and allows me here in this bed to taste the fruits of happiness
sleep soundly by your side