thanks & giving

oh no. haven't updated or written on here in about a month.
sigh.
who's reading anyway?
it's been a busy time, strangely.
losing jobs, looking for jobs, holidays, leaves changing, weather changing - always.
i fall in love every day
and every night i lie down to mystery.
i'm content, i'm confused, i'm excited,
everything's jumbled up in my head
and i think i'm happy with it.
i'm watching a documentary about a new york fashion photographer.
my biggest decision at this moment is what color i'm going to paint my nails next.
i'm missing my boyfriend's touch.
i'm full from spinach alfredo pizza.
these things won't matter tomorrow.
or maybe they will, who knows.
soon it will be december and winter.
i don't know if i'm ready.
well, of course i'm ready.
i know deep down i can't live in the past.
i've been living there too long.
maybe i'll look ahead with... enthusiasm? without fear?
i'm full of shit, but tomorrow will still come.
and i'll be here to soak in the light through windows, through cracks, through chill air, through snowflakes... reflected in lovers' eyes, absorbed directly in tangled hair.
i'll sleep soundly in the gentle flow of life.